Introduction to a Conflicted Contradiction

First,
What is a conflicted contradiction? Well, it's a paradox. I'm continuously realizing who I am yet changing faster than the seasons. It's like I have these core values and a core personality, but my thoughts are always differing. One moment I can be inspirational and confident, and the next moment I hate life and feel lost. A conflicted contradiction seems to be the best way for me to describe myself.

For those who would like to get to know me,
I'm a 57 year old trapped in a 22 year old body. I'm practically 70% an old soul and 30% a young soul. If I were to describe myself, I would say I am: hardworking, trustworthy, genuine, funny, determined, mindful, respectful, and special. I've been told countless times how different I am, how special I am, and how I'm one in a million. Now, I'm starting to believe that, not to get a big head, but I am unlike other people. I'm just me.

Mikayla details,
I am passionate about animals & the elderly. I long for blissful moments and serene experiences. Connecting with nature makes me feel grounded with my life. I am self-aware and understand the consequences of my choices, I've learned about rejection, mistakes, and I've gotten through some tough shit. I cuss too much. I make health conscious choices 50% of the time. I love to laugh. I love deep conversations. I love getting lost in moments and making memories. I love working on who I am and loving who I am as my first priority. I'm selfish in a good way. I'm a good friend. I'm a good dog mom. I'm an okay sister and I'm a horrible multi-tasker. I'm bad at thinking on the spot. I'm bad at making decisions. I'm bad at overthinking. I'm some sort of balance. I'm not perfect.

The reason why I started this blog,
I have a hard time articulating what I want to say in person, so writing is extremely therapeutic to me. It is how I express myself. Moreover, I feel like I have so much to say and nowhere to distribute my thoughts, feelings, ideas, etc. Twitter doesn't have enough characters and Facebook drives me crazy because I think I need to use emojis (I use too many for my own liking). This is a place where everything that's come from my head can be confined in one space (perfect for my OCD). 

My goal,
I hope to be as open and vulnerable as I can be. I'm always learning and working on myself and I want to share valuable lessons I've learned along the way. I want to share my stories so that if you needed to hear it, or you can relate, I did something worthwhile. The good and the bad, it will all be laid on the line here. 

Feel free to email me questions or topics you're interested in to: plexusmikayla@gmail.com and if it's something I can get into hefty detail about, I'm happy to share. You will always remain anonymous, unless specified otherwise.

I plan to post once a week, minimum!

Xoxo,
Mikayla